15 Popular Types of Questions That Are Really Statements in Disguise

It’s been said that 80% of questions are statements in disguise. Whether true or not, passive-aggressive people are especially adept at these shenanigans that can do a number on those they interact with.

Getting to the heart of the matter isn’t an option for passive-aggressive people. They play mind games, expect others to read their thoughts, and pout if their unspoken demands aren’t met.

Passive-Aggressive Types Are Never Direct

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The thing with passive-aggressive people is they’re never upfront with whatever’s bothering them. When they do talk, passive-aggressive types often present their statements in the form of questions. It’s a roundabout way of saying that they really think.

Here are 15 statements-in-disguise questions passive-aggressive people ask.

Why Didn’t Tell Me You Were Going?

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A passive-aggressive person asking this question is actually saying you should have informed them you were going wherever — because they would have tagged along. There’s a sense of entitlement. You’re in the wrong, they believe, for not notifying them and taking them with you.

Are You Sure You Can Do It?

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If a passive-aggressive person asks if you’re certain you can do something, they’re saying they don’t believe you can do it or would rather someone other than you tackle the challenge.

Are You Really Going There Without Me?

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The statement underpinning this question is that you’re being unreasonable to consider going wherever without them.

Who Did This?

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When a passive-aggressive asks who did something, they either think you did it and want you to fess up or believe you know who did it and want that person’s name on a platter. 

What Is This Doing Here?

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A question like “What is that doing here?” screams “Why did you put that there?” But a passive-aggressive person will go with the former over the latter question — hoping you’ll explain yourself and remove whatever they believe is in the wrong place.

Do You Know Someone Who Can Help Me?

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If a passive-aggressive person wants your help, they might ask you to recommend someone who can take them to an appointment or elsewhere. Unless you want to play along, your best bet is to tell them you hope they can get the help they need.

Are You Really Going to Eat All That?

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Can you imagine someone asking you whether you can eat everything on your plate? It’ll be especially embarrassing if you’re at a dinner table filled with others. It’s the perfect way for a passive-aggressive person to say you’re eating like a pig feasting from a trough. 

Did I Do Something to Upset You?

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When a passive-aggressive person does or says things they know will annoy others, they might innocently enquire if they’ve caused harm. The goal is often to open up the line of communication so that the passive-aggressive has a soap box to preach from.

You Don’t Plan to Wear That Outfit, Do You?

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The statement behind this question is clear. It’s the sort of question a passive-aggressive person will ask you if they think your outfit selection is just plain wrong.

Why Must You Always Be Right?

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While passive-aggressive people don’t like conflict, they do a good job of creating it. If a passive-aggressive person questions why you always have to be right, it’s their way of projecting their faults on you. It’s you, they believe, who is being unreasonable.

Are You Always This Annoying?

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If ever there was a perfect statement-making question, it’s “Are you always this annoying?” It’s not really about getting a response — it’s about telling someone they’re utterly annoying.

What Were You Thinking?

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Depending on the circumstances behind this question, it might come across as condescending. It’s like telling someone that no one in their right mind would do such a thing. That’s what a passive-aggressive person means if they ask this question.

Who Do You Think You Are?

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A passive-aggressive person who asks you this question wants to cut you down to size because they think you’ve overstepped your bounds. You’re not expected to answer. They want you to know you were wrong and stay in your lane.

Did You Do This All By Yourself?

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Now, that’s a condescending question if there ever was one. If a passive-aggressive person doesn’t think highly of you, they may question your accomplishments. Asking if you accomplished something noteworthy by yourself is a way to make a statement.

Did You Make That Outfit Yourself?

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If you make your own clothes but don’t do a professional job, some people might call you out. But a passive-aggressive person will do so indirectly through a question. It’s their way of letting you know that they don’t think much of your skills as a seamstress or tailor.

Beware of Questions That Are Actually Statements

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When dealing with passive-aggressive people, you must read between the lines to determine what they truly mean. They don’t come at people directly. It’s all indirect. Sometimes a question is not really a question at all — it’s a statement made in the form of a question.

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